
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13520850.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      My_Candy_Love
  Relationship:
      Candy/Ken_(My_Candy_Love)
  Character:
      Ken_(My_Candy_Love), Candy_(My_Candy_Love), Original_Female_Character(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Depression, Suicidal_Thoughts, Angst, Romance, Explicit_Language,
      Explicit_Sexual_Content, Smut, Crying, One-Sided_Attraction, One-Sided
      Relationship, Friends_With_Benefits, Sexual_Content, Vaginal_Fingering,
      Rough_Kissing, Hand_Jobs, Skipping_Class
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-01-30 Completed: 2018-01-31 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 4275
****** Sickeningly Warm ******
by Zainie
Summary
     "I loved a girl who didn't love herself, even though it broke my
     heart."
Notes
     This has been on my mind of a couple of days now. First time posting
     here some things might no be right lmao. Heavy smut in the next chap
     whoops.
***** Overthinking *****
Skipping class was quickly becoming second nature to her. Zainie could only
stand so much of this constant smiling she was known for. And after all, how
could she let this beautiful afternoon go to waste?
She had perfected the routine at this point. Slip out during the chaos of
passing period, away to a little corner of the school, right in-between the gym
and a garden shed. It being used exclusively for make out sessions or drug
deals.
The teen always kept a spare sweater in her locker. Claiming it was for if she
got cold, but at this point it was almost exclusively used as a pillow.
Bunching the grass stained cloth into a comfortable ball, she slipped it under
her head and brought her headphones up to her ears. Keeping the music as low as
possible, she liked to hear the things around her. Not only for safety, but for
comfort. She found if she drifted too far away it was hard to come back.
So she listened. To the soft music. To the occasional bell. To the wind,
picking up dead leaves and dragging them across cold pavement. And to her
thoughts.
Usually, skipping class meant napping. Although, she couldn’t calm her mind, no
matter what she did. It seemed like everything in her life was going perfectly
for once. Yet, here she was. Ditching for the third time this week, struggling
to hold off tears. Knowing she had to go back to classes at some point, she
fought off the urge to sob into her sweater. But she couldn’t fight the tears.
She let them flow down her temples and into her hair. Feeling the chilling
breeze against her now wet face.
She thought of high school ending. Even though it was far off, it was closer
than ever. Her plan came to mind. It wasn’t that of college or jobs. But of
suicide. It was in her sights since she was 15. She was meant to come to this
school, do her time, take her classes and then off herself. But it got
complicated. As things do.
She made friends. She made dumb high school memories. She had someone who was
in love with her. Not being able to fight it off any longer, the image of
Kentin came mind. Tears flowed harder. It was never meant to happen like this.
She was suppose to go out with hurting as little people as possible. Her
eyebrows began to furrow, nose beginning to run. Why did she decide that a cold
November day was a good time to skip?
Sitting up she started gathering her things. Self deprecating thoughts flew in
like missiles. ‘Just like me to turn a relaxing moment into a pity party. I’m
so fucking stupid.’ Tears only seemed to increase, coming in like a flood gate
was opened up.
“Going somewhere?” A voice rang out behind her, stopping her dead in her
tracks. A teacher? Should she bolt? She knew she would never get away. While
she may be fast, there was only one pink haired girl in school. Busted.
Peeking over her shoulder she saw a mess of fluffy brown hair accompanied with
a dopey smile. 'Kentin. Of course. Just my luck.’ She turned back around, still
having her back towards him. Wiping her eyes and nose with her sleeve, knowing
it would only make them more red, but she was in a panic.
“Mind if I join? Was getting way too stuffy in there.” He plopped down beside
her, stretching out his long limbs with a sigh. Unable to speak, for fear that
her voice would fail her. Unable to face him, for fear he would see her tears.
So, she opted for a soft ‘mhm’, even though she was begging to god for him to
leave.
He laid on his back, starring up at the overcast sky with his hands behind his
head. Zainie was still sitting up, hunching over her backpack, staring at the
concrete wall of the gym exterior beside her. He didn’t seem to notice anything
was off. Yet. He started to ramble on about an english test he has to retake.
Or was it a math packet he had to turn in? She could barely comprehend his
words, only focusing on willing the tears in her eyes to stop coming. Having
him next to her, his warming embrace just inches away. Thoughts of their late
nights together rushed in. Memories of breathy moans and aching pleas. It
crushed her.
They were each others firsts. And although it was consensual, the love aspect
was one sided. He loved her, more than she could comprehend. And she didn’t
want to die a virgin. She knew it was cruel, yes. But with the looming idea of
her death, and an attractive boy at her side, she wasn’t thinking straight.
Their relationship began a few months after he got back from military school.
Zainie realized that there may never be another chance at having a lover, so
she took the first step. It’s been 4 months since then and she knew there was
not going to be a good way out of this. She loved him, of course. Just not in
the way he wanted. So she avoided it. He had brought up the idea of them making
it official more times than she could count, but had always brushed it off. She
thought maybe, deep down, he knew she didn’t love him. But that he kept trying,
because what if?
A hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality, sadly. She turned to face
Kentin, immediately recognizing her mistake.
“Hey, whoa, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He was sitting up now, their
thighs touching, sharing each others warmth. Zainie felt sick to her stomach.
He wrapped his jacket around her, along with his arms. She sobbed into his
shoulder, not holding anything back now. His embrace was so sickeningly warm
and comforting. She knew she didn’t deserve to be in his arms. While she was
letting him see a side of her that no one had seen, he stayed by her side. Of
course, he had no idea what this outburst could be about, he didn’t care. He
kissed her head and whispered reassurance into her ear. Not once letting his
grip on her loosen.
She was beginning to calm down, which meant bad news for her. She knew Kentin,
and being the amazing and kind guy that he is, would ask her what was wrong.
And she knew that she couldn’t take another second of looking into his eyes and
lying to him yet again. So she kissed him.
***** Unloving Kisses *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm feeling this fic way too much. A ton of kissing and foreplay in
     this chap. Also so many teen insecurities it hurts. Good stuff in the
     next chap, scouts honor ;3c
So, she kissed him.
Obviously taken off guard, Kentin froze. One moment, the girl he adored was
sobbing into his chest. Now she was kissing him. It pained him to do so but he
pulled back. Zainie wasn’t thinking straight. He knew she was overwhelmed, with
what, he could only guess. He didn’t want to take advantage of her when she was
in this kind of state. And it infuriated her.
He looked into her glossy eyes, hoping to find some kind of hint to this odd
behavior.
“W-what’s up with you? Let’s talk, please. It hurts to see you like this.” He
was being painstakingly honest. Which only annoyed her further. He couldn’t
imagine what was going through her head, but deep down, he was the tiniest bit
happy. Zainie had been the type to brush off her own problems to help those
that she loved. He had never seen anything less than a pout on her face. Nor
had he ever heard stories of her family or life before they met. So when he saw
the girl he loved with a tear stained face he thought that maybe, finally, she
was beginning to open up to him.
But it couldn’t be further from the truth. To Zainie, this was only her
protecting her heart further, closing herself off more. She knew she was
playing with his feelings, but she couldn’t stop. How could she when this was
the first time in her life that she felt someone had actually, truly loved her.
She longed to feel even an inkling of love. Not caring who it came from at this
point.
“I don’t want to talk. Please.” Her voice was filled with desperation, and he
could tell. She had leaned forward yet again and brought her mouth to his neck.
Being able to feel his warmth on her lips, feeling a shudder run through him,
feeling his heartbeat quicken. It made her feel alive in a sick, twisted way.
She became bolder in her attack. The flustered boy was now on his back again,
propping himself up on his elbows, looking up at an overcast sky. Zainie had
crawled on top of him, one arm holding herself up, another roaming his body.
A cold hand ran over him, hungrily searching for something. Anything. One
moment it was on his cheek, making small, loving circles. The next, it was
trailing down his side. He shuddered yet again. He tried to interject, but all
attempts were in vain. Slowly, the thought of her crying was fading from his
mind. He knew she was in pain, and if this is what he could do to make her feel
even a little bit better, then he would gladly do so. All he could focus on was
the petite girls lips attached to his neck. Biting. Sucking. Kissing. Moaning.
She threw herself into sex. Her problems started to drift away, her one goal,
her only thought right now, was him.
Her hand had wandered to the hem of his shirt. She slowly wormed her way to his
stomach, aching to have some kind of skin to skin contact. Military school had
done wonders to him. Not only to his personality, but his body as well. She ran
her hand over the ridges of his toned stomach, feeling him tense up. She
frowned, knowing it was because of her freezing hands. From his skin, to his
smile, to his whole being. Kentin was always so warm. It was a wonder she
didn’t see steam coming off him on a cold day like this.
At this point he was one more kiss, one more lingering touch from going insane.
Knowing Zainie, if he hadn’t taken over, they’d be here for hours. He snaked
his arm around her waist, flipping both of them over in one flawless motion.
Well… flawless in theory. In reality, she had bumped her head against the cold
concrete wall beside her. He didn’t notice, so she dropped it as well. She
would have cursed herself if she interrupted this dominant side of himself. It
was rare that he took control. Maybe he pitied her. Maybe he felt a sense of
protection in seeing her cry. Whatever it was, she wasn’t one to stop it. For
once she wasn’t going to be the one doing all the work.
He smashed his lips to hers, teeth clacking in a painfully awkward way. One of
his hands was in her hair, toying with the short pink curls, admiring its
softness. The other was on her outer thigh. Quickly moving upward. Her thighs.
Her hips. Her waist. Her chest. Her. He took it all in, savoring it as if this
was the last time they would be together. She thought it was cute. He fucked
like it was their last day on earth. Like it was their first time. Every time.
Zainie thought it was because he was so enamored with her. And while that was
true, deep down it was because he was still insecure. Still that insecure boy
before he left for military school. He feared that every time together would be
their last. That the next time she would turn him down, saying he wasn’t
enough. That he was too weak. Too boring. Too…
So he gave it his all. Striving to be the best she ever had. As if she had
anyone else. Anyone but him. They both had problems. Problems neither of them
knew about. He lived in fear of her leaving. That he was never good enough. And
she lived in fear of staying. Staying together, staying in this school, staying
alive. They both thought of themselves as lesser than they were. Each thinking
that they didn’t deserve to be with the other. He thought that his broken piece
didn’t fit with her perfect one. And vise versa. If only they knew.
Kentin had pinched her side, causing her to gasp and let out a breathy moan.
Taking this opportunity, he slipped his tongue into her mouth, bringing the two
even closer. His lips were chapped, as always. The teen had offered him her
chapstick on multiple occasions, trying to give him some kind of hint. But
alas. Teenage boys will always be dense in one way or another.
The kiss isn’t passionate, but desperate. It was hard to differentiate the two,
but Zainie could always tell. Could he? Did he know? That her heart wasn’t
fully into it? His kisses were full of nothing but love. And hers just seemed
to be foreplay.
She grew tired of kissing. It only reminded her that this was one sided. That
she was hurting him. Even if he mistook it as love.
Zainie brought her knee up to his crotch. Teasingly feeling the reaction she
had caused. His kiss faltered. The hand on her chest froze, and the fingers in
her hair tightened, pulling so achingly good. He shuddered. A tell tale sign
that he was into it. She smiled against his lips, pressing further into the
bulge between them. He pulled away from her lips and looked into her eyes.
Still red from earlier, but now they were clouded over with lust and mischief.
The horny teen felt his heart ache yet again.
“What’s gotten into you today? I find you crying and then you’re all over me.
At school no less. Have you really missed me that much?” He smirked. His hand
now in-between her legs. Rubbing her over her jeans. She threw her head back
and stifled a moan, clenching her teeth. While she adored dirty talk, she
didn’t much care for Kentins. It was always along the lines of ‘Do you love me?
Let me hear you say it. Say my name. Louder.’ Or ‘You like that? Tell me how
you feel. Tell me how good I make you feel. I wanna hear you say it.’ His
insecurities shown through even if he did his best to hide them. But Zainie
always answered. She told him how good he was. She screamed his name. She
always had a retort to his questions.
But she wasn’t in it today. She didn’t want to say she loved him. She wanted an
orgasm and to feel loved. So she took control, as she always did.
***** Regret *****
Chapter Notes
     i was high thru half of this chapter,, can u guess which half? ;3c
     finally got to the good stuff, i feel like it wasnt long enough.
     maybe if someone want me to, ill write another smutty story.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
His hand was still in-between her thighs. Pressing, rubbing. Zainie could feel
herself start to warm up. Her cheeks slowly turning red, her underwear quickly
becoming damp. If she let this go on he would start to feed her that unbearable
dirty talk she disliked so much.
She took hold of his hand, ceasing the movement between her thighs and lacing
their fingers together. She slowly rose from off her back, guiding him to rest
up against the concrete wall beside them. Their lips never once parting. She
was now in his lap, grinding down on his dick. The teen did a particularly good
roll of her hips, causing Kentin to break the kiss and throw his head back
against the wall, letting out a deep groan that would make any high school girl
wet.
Zainie took this brief moment to study his face. His eyebrows were furrowed,
lips plump from their heavy make out session. His whole face tinted pink. His
breathing was heavy and hot. They stared into each others eyes. Not paying
attention to how long had passed. She took her hand and brought it up to his
jaw, running her fingertips across the defined bone, watching her fingers trail
down his face. Kentins hands had also started to wander. He delicately followed
the curve of her back down to her ass. Giving it a soft squeeze before drifting
to her thighs. He loved every part of her body, but her thighs had always taken
first place. He pressed and pinched all over, appreciating its softness and
elasticity. His lips drew themselves to her neck, craving to taste her, to feel
her heartbeat on his tongue.
She reveled in his kisses. Took note of how hesucked and bit her neck, so she
could remember it later when she thought that no one loves her. She reminded
herself, ‘This is love. He loves me. This is what it feels like.’ The only
thing better than sex to Kentin was listening to her moans. High pitched
squeals when he pinched her, low quiet groans when he pressed himself into her.
It was better than any drug, a bigger confidence booster than anything had ever
given him. To him, hearing her reactions made him feel like he was worth
something. Like he was worthy of her.
The two had no concept of how much time had passed, but they had figured it was
lunch time now. Hearing the chatter of students in the distance only made them
speed up their attacks on each other. The pink haired girl brought her hand
down to his crotch again, feeling up and down its length. She could feel her
lover groan and shudder against her neck. She let her fingers fiddle with the
waistband of his jeans, toying with the button holding them up.
“Can I?” Her request was barely audible, but he heard her none the less. He
broke away from her neck, admiring the reddish purple bruise he had created.
Giving a grunt of approval he went back to work on her neck.
She made quick work of undoing his pants, pulling them down just enough to get
to what she wanted. She ran her hand over the bulge again, this time being able
to make out its shape over his underwear. His kisses were getting slower and
sloppy. Kentin was never good at multitasking. She moved his underwear out of
the way and tilted her head down to see. He was definitely hard, yeah. His dick
slightly curved upward, something he was embarrassed about when they were first
together. He was also worried about him not being… enough. But for a girl half
a foot shorter than him, he was more than enough.
By now the horny teen couldn’t concentrate to save his life. And how could he?
With the girl of his dreams holding his dick in her hand. She lightly grabbed
ahold of his uncovered shaft, intensely watching the reaction on his face. He
held his bottom lip between his teeth, trying not to let a loud moan out.
Zainie slowly started to move her hand up and down his length, squeezing
slightly every time she got near the tip. She paused, gliding her thumb across
his tip. Smearing the drop of precum that had formed there.
Kentin hated being the only one being pleasured. He brought a shaky hand up to
the button of her jeans, not being able to get it open. She had taken her free
hand and popped them free, not wanting him to fumble with it for 5 minutes.
Paying more attention to her technique, she angled her wrist, so that her thumb
pressed firmly at the underside of his cock up and down with every thrust. He
moved to gaze into her eyes. Giving her a look that was full of desperation.
She loved to tease him.
She began attacking his lips again, making out obviously being her favorite.
Tongues intertwining almost immediately. Kentin moaned into her mouth, letting
her tongue run wild. She quickened her pace on his cock, slowly increasing more
and more. At this point, her was calling her name. Repeating it like a prayer.
He thought back to her pleasure, and shoved one hand into her jeans. He wanted
to rip them off, since they were so tight, but he didn’t want to push her.
Taking his fingertips he teasingly rubbed at the bundle of nerves above her
entrance. This caused her to detach from his lips and throw her head back, not
being able to contain a loud moan. It was like angels singing. Hearing her
reaction Kentin felt even more turned on that he thought he could ever be. His
dick was twitching in her hand, obviously liking what he heard.
She could feel that he was on the edge. So she slowed her movements, wanting to
tease him even further.
“You wanna come? Tell me how bad.” Zainie got caught up in the moment. She
longed to hear his voice, shaky and pleading. At first he only nodded his head,
not trusting his voice to talk. He cleared his throat.
“Please… Faster.” He begged. He hated begging, more than anything. He wanted to
be the dominant one. But somehow, Zainie had always took control, toying with
him until he was just moans and pleas.
She took his response and complied. Tightening her grip and speeding up her
movement she smirked, watching her lover with lidded eyes. He clenched his
teeth, breathing like he had just run a marathon. She pressed her chest to his,
feeling his rapid heartbeat accelerate. Faster and faster. He was thrusting up
into her hand at this point. She felt him twitching more and more, knowing the
inevitable was coming.
“I’m gonna.. H-hah—“ His warning was cut off by a loud groan. Zainie quickly
moved her head lower so that her mouth was engulfing his tip. She closed her
lips around it and took as much as she could, letting her hand do the rest.
Humming around his dick, she let him feel the vibrations. Then it all came
crashing down. He grabbed a handful of pink hair, keeping her head in place
while he bucked into her warm mouth, moaning her name over and over. She felt
him cum into her, slowly filling her mouth with a warm sticky substance,
letting it spread all over her tongue and around his dick. He couldn’t even
speak anymore, just small breathy groans.
She released his cock with a pop. He looked at her with a blushing face, sweat
glistening at his hairline. He almost came a for a second time when he realized
that she had swallowed the whole thing. The grip on her hair loosened, merging
into a loving touch rather than a pull. He just looked into her eyes for a
minute, basking in the after glow of his orgasm.
“You… You didn’t have to swallow…” He finally spoke up when his breath returned
to him. She didn’t reply. The teen stood up and rebuttoned her pants and
straightening her shirt. Kentin was confused for what seemed like the millionth
time today.
“Hey, where you going? You didn’t finish.” Kentin spoke up with concern. How
come she initiated this, but was leaving after only he got off? He stood up to
stop her, but quickly fell back down on his ass. Of course. His pants were
still at his knees and his dick was out. Pulling up his pants he got up to
follow her. By now she had already put her backpack over her shoulder and had
her sweater in hand.
“Sorry. I just remembered I have to meet Rosa after lunch.” She didn’t even
look him in the eyes when saying that. Knowing he wouldn’t believe her. She
just hoped he wouldn’t follow after her.
Kentin watched her leave, seeing the tears forming in her eyes. He wanted
nothing more than to stop her and ask what was up. To hold her in his arms and
tell her he was there for her. But he realized that she didn’t want to talk
today. And as much as it hurt him, he respected that.
She had never planned on ditching him. She initiated this whole thing because
she wanted to get off. But her feelings quickly changed. He definitely hadn't
noticed, but she did. He wasn’t moaning out just her name while cumming into
her mouth. He had also unknowingly said multiple ‘I love you’’s. It was the
first time she had ever heard him say it.
Zainie was devastated. She realized that she couldn’t keep this up. How could
she look him in the eyes? She could never reciprocate what he felt towards her.
She knew she had to end it. But with the taste of his cum still in her mouth,
she thought that this wasn’t the best time to break the news. ‘Hey, I just
sucked you dick. I don’t love you.’ Yeah. Not the best time.
She ran past crowds of students, feeling all their eyes on her. He hair must
have been a mess. Eyes red, tears on her cheeks, newly formed hickeys on her
neck. It felt like everyone knew. She started running, which just caused more
people to turn and look. She couldn't stand being in this school for a minute
longer
She ran. Past glaring students and past the school front gates. Right into the
parking lot. She sat on a curb. Hiding behind a truck just incase a teacher
went looking for her. She sobbed into the sleeves of she sweater. Wishing she
died at 15.
Chapter End Notes
     so? how was my first smut lmao. id appreciate any kind of comment ;3c
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
